The Leafs might win the next game or the next three or five. And after all, it’s just sports, and in the macro sense it doesn’t really matter.īut sometimes you do have to step back and marvel at how unpredictably bad this team can be, how much worse they can look than even your well-honed pessimism tells you they can. Who am I kidding? If I had the sense to stop cheering for the Leafs now I’d have stopped years ago. We could threaten to walk away, and make a big huffy show of it. We could go through the regular fan grief cycle: fire everybody, trade everybody, fire the people who did the firing, fire the layer above that, change the team name, relocate them to the Moon, etc.
And no matter what, we-maybe you and definitely I-never quite learn that Lucy isn’t just going to pull the football away from Charlie Brown, she’s going to dig a pit full of snakes and he’ll tumble into it prematurely bald head first. The Leafs lose with the creativity of a great artist, in ways mere mortals can’t even think of, at a cost no other team pays. They lose sideways and upside down and in dimensions hitherto unknown to physics. But the Leafs lose in widescreen technicolour. They got outshot by, I don’t know, a billion, by a team that played last night while I assume the Leafs were off getting drunk on the victory champagne they bought when they won o ne game out of four in the course of a week during the stretch run in between spending the other three games getting pantsed so hard THE TEAM OUGHT TO BE FUCKING CONTRACTED OUT OF EXISTENCE JESUS CHRIST!Īll teams lose. They played something akin to anti-defence as full partners in their own destruction. The other team had to play a rec goalie that they got from Toronto and the Leafs managed to lose 6-3.
The Leafs lost a game last night to the Carolina Hurricanes who, for half the evening, were playing a 42-year-old emergency backup goalie. And so I’m going to try to look at the Leaf’s loss to Carolina through the lens of thoughtful detahahahaha I’m just kidding can you believe this fucking shit? We accept the role of variance, and the fact that after all, we follow a sport played on a slippery surface with a bouncing disc of rubber. We engage with sports through an analytic lens, to deal with probabilities and rational team evaluation. Normally, here on this website, we try to maintain perspective.
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